Last to know
by BackstageMark
Summary: A kiss, a punch, a death, and love. Roger angests a lot. M/R-ish.


Disclaimer: RENT doesn't belong to me, and neither does Roger. The only thing I own is a bunch of hangers, and some safety pins.  
Warning: M/R ahead. Don't worry, nothing icky. But if you don't like M/R (you freak!), then I wouldn't recommend reading it, k?  
  
-------------------  
  
Damnit, why am I always the last one to know everything? No one ever tells me anything, especially if it has to do with something or someone important to me. It's like, there's some weird conspiracy against me. I bet there is, they just never told me. Once again, I'm the last to know.  
When I was in the fourth grade, Anita Wright thought I was cute. She told all her friends, who told all their friends, and before you knew it, the entire fourth grade, and parts of the fifth, knew about it. Of course, it the first I heard of it was when she came and kissed during recess on Valentines Day. After that, she went around telling everyone that I was a terrible kisser, which probably explains why my lovelife was nonexistent for years after that.  
In the eighth grade, Alexander Wright, who happened to be Anita's brother, decided that he was going to beat me up. No real reason. Maybe he was bitter that I had broken his sisters heart all those years ago. Maybe I looked at him wrong once. Maybe he just felt like beating someone up, and I happened to be there. Rumors flew around the school for days, but, miraculously, none of them ever reached me. The only thing that ever reached me was his fist.  
In my junior year of high school, my grandmother died. I went through school like any other day. I talked to my friends like any other day. I ignored my teachers like any other day. I walked home like any other. But when I got home, my entire family was sitting in the living room, all tears and hugs and memories. Turns out that my grandmother had died that morning, around the time that I was in first period, ignoring my teacher. My mother hadn't wanted to disturb me, so she didn't call me out of school. By the time I was home, the entire family had flown down, and all close friends had been contacted. People that my mother hadn't talked to in years already knew.  
No one ever bothered telling me that Collins was gay until we were roommates. Call me naive, but I assumed that the guy he was with when we met him was just a friend. One night, a few weeks later, I was talking to Benny, when I heard some familiar noises coming from Collins' room. I laughed, and said something along the lines of, So, Collins brought a girl home. Benny just kind of stared at me, and rolled his eyes. I still didn't get it. The next morning, when we were eating breakfast and the strange half-naked man came in and gave Collins a kiss... Yeah, I got it then.  
I was the last to find out about April. My fucking girlfriend! I was out rehearsing with the band when she killed herself. I got home around 3 AM, and there was a note from Mark. Dear Roger, April tried to kill herself, we're at the hospital, Benny has his cellphone, please call, love, Mark. That was how I found out. A rambling note from Mark. Bennys girlfriend-soon-to-be-wife, Alison, found out before I did, and she had never even met April!  
I was the last to find out about Mark and Maureen breaking up. You'd think that I would have been the first, considering that I was living with them, but somehow I slept through all of it. Collins, who wasn't even in the state at the time, and Benny, who hadn't given a shit for months, found out before I did.   
And now I'm the last one to know about Mark. He's in love with me. Mark! My fucking best friend since forever! Is in love with me! Seriously in love with me! Maureen and her big mouth told me about it. If Maureen knows, then Joanne probably does too. Hell, if Maureen knows, everyone probably knows. Angel knew, Mark probably went to her for advice all the time. Same with Collins. Mimi probably knows, once again thanks to Maureen the blabbermouth. The only person I can think of who wouldn't know would be... No, Maureen probably told Benny too.  
It's not like I'm some kind of weakling who can't deal with anything. So maybe I don't have the best track record of dealing with things. But still, it's the principle of the thing. When stuff happens, I want to know! Hiding it from me for all eternity isn't going to make my reaction any better when I eventually do find out.   
So maybe I wasn't the first one to know that Mark's in love with me. At least I was the first to know that I love him back.  
  
---------------  
  
Yay! Cute little RogerFic... My first attempt at M/R, by the way. What'd you think of it? If you liked it, if you hated it, feel free to donate a review to the Starving Authors Foundation.


End file.
